Attachment parenting is a parenting starter style, patented by Dr. Sears. This is more of an approach to parenting rather than rules and requires parents to be very responsive.
The 7 Bs of Attachment Parenting
Dr. Sears made a set of guidelines called the 7 Bs of Attachment Parenting. Please note that these are not strictly set rules, as you will read in the 7th B, you should always do what needs to be done to keep balance in your life, parenting, marriage, education, social life and whatever else pertains to you.
- Birth Bonding. When I gave birth to my two beautiful babies, each time the hospital nurses made sure that I practiced a technique called “skin to skin”. Skin to skin is exactly what it sounds like. When I gave birth, the nurse put my baby on my unclothed chest, so that we could start out strong with our skin to skin bonding. This makes the baby feel safe next to his/her mommy’s warm heart, when they are entering this big and scary world. There are more things you can do, as well. Some people decide to have an all natural birth, or water birth ( which is pretty cool, because you get to watch your baby open their eyes and enter the world). Some people may choose to delay cutting and clamping the umbilical cord. If you do not get the chance to do any birth bonding right away, do not fret, because you can always catch up!
- Breastfeeding. Breastfeeding was such an amazing experience for me. I highly recommend breastfeeding, if you are able to. When breastfeeding you must learn to read your baby’s cues, to know when he/she is hungry. As Dr. Sears put it, “Breastfeeding is an exercise in baby reading”. When you breastfeed, the body releases oxytocin and prolactin, which makes the mother feel good, maybe a bit tired too. So if you are feeding in the middle of the night be careful. Do your research!
- Baby Wearing. Some people use baby carriers, some use baby wraps. I personally loved the Boboa Wrap. Carrying your child close to you allows them to feel safe, which means they will not be fussy much. This means they are either asleep or in a state of quiet alertness, meaning they are able to observe their environment and learn more about it, than if they were in a car seat, crying, because they are in such a big unfamiliar, scary place.
- Bedding Close to Baby. Co-sleeping or bedsharing. Now, people, PLEASE do your research on this, because if this is not done correctly or with proper precautions it could end in SIDS. You CAN make it safe with the proper knowledge and mindfulness. Bedding close to the baby assures the baby that sleep is safe, especially when its dark. This helps rid of any feelings of abandonment and prevent them. This also minimizes night time separation anxiety.
- Believe in Baby’s Cry. A baby’s cry is how he/she communicates with you or other people. There is no such thing as “spoiling” a baby. You are doing your job right, when you answer to your baby’s call. When my son was a baby, he barely cried, because I got to him before he could get a chance to. That showed him that he could trust that I will be there for him.
- Beware of Baby Trainers. Be discerning of any advice that you may get from others or see on pinterest and the internet. Do NOT let your baby just “cry it out”. Also, I remember in my hospital room, after delivery, seeing a sign that read “Don’t watch the clock, watch your baby”, which is actually the opposite of what many baby trainers say. Your baby will give you cues if you watch him/her.
- Balance. These are guidelines, please, no extremes. If something doesn’t work, it is ok. Balance in your life is the key. Dr. Sears tells us to know when to say yes or no and “having the wisdom to say ‘yes’ to yourself when you need help.”
Citations
Sears. (n.d.). Attachment Parenting Babies. Retrieved April 2, 2020, from https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/attachment-parenting/attachment-parenting-babies
The Parenting Junkie. (2016, April 5). LoveParenting: 7 B’s of Attachment Parenting [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raAg15yAciE&t=314s
Mommy and Me 